I celebrated my first Mother’s Day yesterday. It was everything I could have asked for and more. It was beyond expectation, and I am so grateful.
Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be celebrating Mother’s Day at just 23-years-old. Being pregnant at such a young age was not something I had planned, nor had I asked for. In fact, I immediately thought my life was over. How could I, this crazy party girl, ever be a parent? It was crazy, and it was shocking, but, as always, God knew what he was doing.
I’d be lying if I said my pregnancy was an easy time, though. I lost a countless amount of friends; one’s who I imagined by my side on my wedding day. I got into arguments with my boyfriend because sometimes the stress of becoming a parent was too much to bear. Sometimes I even found myself kneeling on the floor, crying, and asking God why he chose me to be a mother. For goodness sake, I had never even held a newborn child, how did He expect me to raise one?
It was hard. It was so hard.
But the moment I heard her first cry, I knew that every single hardship I had faced, and every single struggle that was to come, would be worth it. It was at that moment that I finally understood what a mother’s love truly was. It is simply indescribable. All I knew was that I loved her, and that I would spend the rest of my life doing whatever I could to show her.
Motherhood is not rainbows and butterflies like everybody thinks, though. Sometimes waking up ten times a night, every night for months is beyond exhausting. And sometimes hearing that piercing cry is enough to send you off the balcony. And sometimes changing diaper after diaper is so damn annoying. But, more often that not, that exhaustion is met with a toothless grin. That diaper change turns into you admiring how darn cute their tiny butt is. And that piercing cry is met with comfort in knowing that you are the only one who can make it better because you, their mother, are their protector.
Motherhood is not easy, but it is worth it, and I am so grateful for the journey.
I look forward to many more cries, many more exhausting days, many more diaper changes, because all of that means that I will also be witness to the toothy grins, the potty training, and the many years of cuddles from my nugget.
Happy Mother’s Day, y’all.
And cheers to the many more to come.
cheyenne. 