I miss you.

Dad.

I miss you.

Every year. Every month. Every day. It never gets easier.

I think about you all the time, in everything I do.

It’s raining right now. Thunder. Lightning. And I’m sitting outside, soaking it in. Reminding myself of life and the beauty of it. But also the shitty parts.

You were my rock. My best friend. The person I turned to for anything. And ten years later I still can’t believe you’re gone.

I see your face everywhere. In people at the grocery store. On a plane. When I’m wondering around. You’re there.

I catch myself staring at people who remind me of you. And sometimes, if they look like you, I can’t stop. I stare. I can’t keep my eyes off them. Wondering if it’s a sign from you. Wondering what could have been. Wondering what you would be saying to me, what hobby you had now, how happy you are.

I fucking miss you. Tremendously.

I wonder where you are. What you’re thinking. How your soul has been. I don’t know, but I feel you. All around me. Everywhere I go.

I miss your light. Your crooked smile. Your goofy antics. Your drumming on the steering wheel.

I miss your passion for things you loved. For things you wanted to experience. The love for us, your kids.

I don’t know how to turn my mind off from missing you. And I don’t think I ever will.

I wish you were here. So bad.

I love you so much. You’d be so proud of your granddaughter. Her spunk. Her sweet, but strong willed, personality. Her zest for life.

You’d love her.

I’ve graduated college now. I’m engaged, too.

You’d love him. He’s like you in a lot of ways. His love for his family, his thoughtfulness, and his patience and unconditional love through the toughest of times.

You’d be so proud. Of me. Of her. Of him. Of the family we have.

I wish you were here to experience this. I’d give everything to have you back. But I know I can’t.

But I hope you feel my undying love for you.

I’ll never stop missing you. I’ll never stop hurting.

I love you. And I can’t wait to see you again.